I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
