i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
