He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
