Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
