I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
NoShamevember. You game?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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