I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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