you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
