Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
