doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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