Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
