roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
