are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
