So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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