Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
