pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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