Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
