Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
