The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
