How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
