I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
