Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
