One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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