my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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