Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
