I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
