this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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