If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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