he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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