Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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