Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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