her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
