Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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