im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
