i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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