I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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