Yo dont text me then not text me
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
