is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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