evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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