It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
