well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
