How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
