if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
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