i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
