im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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