this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
