He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
this will be a night to untag.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
