This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
