the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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