i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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