She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
