I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
